Going Under
by dreamerdoll
Summary: Songfic based on song Going Under by Evanescence. KJ. Joren refuses to admit he loves her.


Going Under  
  
_Now I will tell you what I've done for you  
  
Fifty thousand tears I've cried _

_Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you _

_And you still wont hear me_  
  
She sits up late at night, crying, thinking of him. So many tears wasted on one so unworthy. Yet still she cried. She loved him. She had told him that many times, but this was the last. He didn't love her in return, and that was fine.  
  
She lied to her friends for him, so they could be together. She screamed at them when they treated him badly, although he could have done it himself. She took an arrow for him, once. Yet she couldn't make him love her.  
  
_Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself  
  
Maybe I'll wake up for once._  
  
He was always there to help her. Not this time. She will get out of this myself, make everything fine again on her own. She wants to do it on her own, prove that she doesn't need him. Maybe she will wake up from this dream he has put her in.  
  
_Not tormented daily defeated by you_  
  
She was sick of being tormented by her thoughts of him, wondering if he loved her, if she meant something to him. And each day, when she told him she loved him, her hopes would be crushed, and she would turn away, defeated, thinking that maybe he would change his mind, but she knew that he wouldn't.  
  
_Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom  
  
I'm dying again_  
  
Each night he tells her that he doesn't love her, she's just there, and each night she thinks that it cant get any worse. Yet the next night there she is, dying again, being killed by his words that hurt her so much.  
  
_Im going under_  
  
_Drowning in you _

_Im falling forever _

_I've got to break through _

_Im going under_  
  
She was slowly being pushed down. All her hopes and dreams were slowly being killed. She was drowning in her love for him. And he refused to save her. Each night, she fell a little bit more. Fell away from her friends, her family, her dreams, and her life. And it was his fault. He wouldn't release her from all the pain that he was causing her. She hoped to break through all the barriers that he had put up, hoped that inside, he really did love her, but he wouldn't let her. Each time she got closer to him, he pushed her back down, crushing her as he did.  
  
_Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
  
So I don't know what's real and what's not_  
  
She doesn't know when he's telling her the truth, and what are the lies. She doesn't know if what she sees in front of her is fake. And all he does is make it worse. He wants her like this. He doesn't care if her sanity is slowly slipping away, as long as he has her at his mercy.  
  
_Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
  
So I cant trust myself anymore Im dying again_  
  
He messed with her mind, made her believe things that werent true. She wasn't sure if she could even trust herself, her own thoughts anymore. And she once more was killed by his harsh words.  
  
_Im going under _

_Drowning in you _

_Im falling forever _

_Ive got to break through_  
  
She wants to make him love her. She has to get through to him. But each time she tries, she falls a little farther. That's what her life is like now. All she does is fall. He pushes her down, and she cant get back up.  
  
_So go on and scream  
  
Scream at me _

_I'm so far away _

_I wont be broken again_

_ Ive got to breathe _

_I cant keep going under_  
  
He can scream at her all he wants. She's stopped falling. She won't go under again. She is sick of the broken state she was constantly in. She can't stay under forever. She's sick of being pushed down.

* * *

Sorry, I was depressed. I actually wrote this one when I wrote Haunted, but it wouldn't work. So sorry. It really kinda sucks. I was in an awful mood.  
  
Well, for those of you who don't understand (probably everyone), Kel loves Joren, but he refuses to admit that he loves her back. She is still with him, because, being the understanding and kind person that she is, she realizes that it is hard for him to admit that he loves someone, especially her. Finally, she gets sick of it.


End file.
